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Joke of the Day

"asked my little bro for a couple of chips... he brought me three, said 2 were a couple and the third was my side chip"

"My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like ""please untie me"" and ""just tell me who you are""."

"SURPRISE! -Sharts"

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"

"I just read that Stevie Wonder is filing for divorce. I guess in the end, they just didn't share the same views!"

"What do you call earrings on a gay man? Queerings"

"Headphone Jack [Removed]"

"I will love you 'til the end of time, or until my blood alcohol level normalizes, whichever comes first."

"My girlfriend called me pedophile earlier. That's a big word for an eight year old"

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."