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Joke of the Day

"""Why do Jews hate sex?"" ""Because the pussy is too close to the gas chamber."" Cody Edwards"

"This guy at speed dating asked if I have any weird tattoos I was like lol not if you love The Golden Girls."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they're not confused with feminist. Sorry."

"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."

"A guy with a gun enters a bar... ""Who the fuck had sex with my wife?"" He snarled. A voice was heard in the background, ""You don't have enough bullets mate!"""

"Look me in the eyes when I'm lying to you."

"Even though I know its wrong. I don't know whats right... Damn math problems!"

"Why can't the average white girl pass Math? Because she can't even."

"It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about."

"What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister? One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush.."