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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You know why I pulled you over? M: Speeding? C: No! M: Not using my blinker? C: No! M: Because I'm drunk? Cop: Sir get off the mower!"

"Who's the biggest joke on the football team? The PUNter"

"What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common? They both know when you are sleeping."

"Sexually active I was sexually active at 12....its now 12.14am and my hand is fuckin killing me."

"""How's the wine?"" ""House red?"" ""Yes."" *sips, swills, spits* ""Wow it's got too much body."" ""Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."""

"What's the saddest thing in the world... Dick, His family are nuts, His neighbor is an asshole, His best friend is a pussy, And his master beats him"

"If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom"

"Cold War Hungarian Joke Communism is the noble struggle by the proletariat to overcome problems that only exist under Communism."

"What do you call the process of creatively making drip coffee? Arts and carafes."

"To the twenty something year old girls who think forty something year old women are jealous of them- enjoy your next 240 periods!"