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Joke of the Day

"""How's the wine?"" ""House red?"" ""Yes."" *sips, swills, spits* ""Wow it's got too much body."" ""Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."""

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? I heard it's very time consuming."

"The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time.. Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours."

"What do you call a robotic priest? The Sermonator."

"What do you call an evil cat, who only lives to be an ass hole? A cat."

"My cocaine is so white Police let it go with a warning"

"You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny. That's malarious!"

"If you're a Sanders supporter at a Trump rally, what protocols do you need to follow? The Protocols of Zion, apparently."

"The owner of the local pet store let me take a test fish home to see if I'd like one as a pet... ...It was a beta"

"What do you call a ghost without any feet? A lost sole"