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Joke of the Day

"To the twenty something year old girls who think forty something year old women are jealous of them- enjoy your next 240 periods!"

"I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*"

"I love playing The Sims. It's the only time I can watch a family naked and not get arrested."

"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and I, something smells."

"IKEA made headlines today... ...due to their new range of corduroy pillowcases"

"The 7 Drug Habits Of High, Ineffective People"

"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"

"How did Micro-soft get it's name? Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy"

"What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo"

"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said..... ""Sorry, my fault."""