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Joke of the Day

"If I've learned anything from listening to world news, it's that the world is full of countries I've never even heard of. (An American)"

"What's the difference between a horny man and a vampire? Vampires don't come inside without permission"

"I saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,, I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him"

"A husband and wife were found smothered in their bed... Detectives called it the pillow case..."

"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, i'm changing."

"What do you call a sad boner? Mourning Wood"

"Obi-Wan captured a Sith and bring him to Yoda. Obi-Wan: Should I kill the Sith or let him go? Yoda: Kill him... \*Obi-Wan executes the Sith.\* Yoda: ...you must not."

"I'm at my absolute fakest when I'm wishing people happy birthday on Facebook."

"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"

"I remember when ""Something's eating up data."" meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled."