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Joke of the Day

"if darth vader hadn't gotten a job working for palpatine, what would have been his backup plan? anakin dogwalker"

"Spoil any movie by telling ur friend ""Ice Cube dies"" before they watch it. They'll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time"

"What do you call a poorly made massive dumpling? A wanton one-ton wonton."

"Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar.. The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man."

"I am a kid at heart and a 52 year old coal miner at liver."

"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god it."

"Roommates Roommate 1: ""You think I'm nosy, don't you?!"" Roommate 2: ""No, not at all!"" Roommate 1: ""Then why'd you write that in your diary?!"""

"Why can't Monday get a girlfriend? Because it always comes to fast"

"My new house has special needs It has a re-tarred driveway."

"What is the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat? The wheelchair."