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Joke of the Day

"Should America make China the 51st state so we can get better access to Chinese food? I'm so sick and tired of Panda Express."

"One time I asked ""What would Jesus do?"" & then a close friend betrayed me & everyone started misinterpreting what I said for their own gain."

"After 4 months, I lost 270 pounds Now she's my ex-wife"

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"

"What do you call an exploding box? Your new Note 7 package"

"Matt Schaub and Eli Manning walk into a bar. What happened? They order a beer sampler and the bartender tells them to pick 6."

"That's a great river Dam it!"

"The best part of being a crackhead.... Only two more sleeps until Christmas."

"What type of lettuce do they serve on the titanic? Iceberg :D"

"Another Twilight movie? God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them."