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Joke of the Day
"That's a great river Dam it!"
Next Joke
"My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with 'Star Wars'. I said: May divorce be with you..."
"Why do pedophiles have social anxiety? Because they have a hard time fitting in"
"If you're a Sanders supporter at a Trump rally, what protocols do you need to follow? The Protocols of Zion, apparently."
"Appearing to be productive at work requires more effort than actually being productive."
"They just discovered a lesbian dinosaur and are calling it... Lickalotapus."
"Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both) What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. ""Alien versus predator"""
"What's Forest Gumps password? 1Forest1"
"I think I'm more shocked that Rodney King had a swimming pool than that he is dead"
"APPLE GENIUS: how did u get so much water on the laptop [flashback to me taking my laptop into the shower so i could tweet] ME: hurricane"