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Joke of the Day

"My wife got home and was mad when she saw I fed my son cake, banana, popcorn and M&M's for dinner. I was like, ""You saw the banana, right?"""

"How many times do I have to say ""excuse me"" before ""get the f*ck out of my way"" becomes acceptable?"

"I want a coffee so rich and bold it has a cabin in the woods where it hunts humans for sport."

"I went to a zoo that only had no animals in it. I exclaimed, ""Doggone!"""

"How does Google clean their facilities? They use Google Mops."

"Why do people shoot up schools? Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service."

"How do you piss off an animal rights activist? You eat pita bread."

"Jeremy Beadle has a tiny penis... Jeremy Beadle has a tiny penis, but on the other hand, it's massive."

"Boxing is probably the most applicable martial art to the street... If you run away, you probably won't get hit."

"I was going to make a joke about asians... ...but that would be waisis."