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Joke of the Day

"Jeremy Beadle has a tiny penis... Jeremy Beadle has a tiny penis, but on the other hand, it's massive."

"my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas my so-so grandmother got me socks"

"""That'll be $19.94."" *pulls out $50 bill* ""Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills. Have anything smaller?"" *pulls out $25 bill*"

"It only took four men to wallpaper my house, but I had to slice them really thin."

"In germany there are lots of jokes about the polish, so... What did Piotr get for christmas? ... Your iPod!"

"Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice? Just tell me ""enjoy the diarrhea"" and I'll move along."

"Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?"

"A hawk snatched my gf's chihuahua today.. ..it got rid of that annoying bitch for me in one fowl swoop."

"My biggest fear is that I'm holding my baby and a rapper asks me to put my hands in the air."

"Her: Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Me: No but I follow a few on Twitter."