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Joke of the Day

"I want a coffee so rich and bold it has a cabin in the woods where it hunts humans for sport."

"I can't help but feel that if Mario hadn't been taking so many mushrooms he would have found the right castle rather quickly.."

"What does Deadpool need? Someone to merc him shut up."

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council."

"Where does Ned Flanders pick up women? On OkilyDokilyCupid"

"Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour."

"What do you calla nosy pepper? Jalapeno business"

"What is better than a rose on a guitarist? Tulips on my pianist."

"China's rise is terrifying: look at this list of casualties from Chinese military interventions over the last three decades http://i.imgur.com/WFsyTn8.png"