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Joke of the Day
"I was going to make a joke about asians... ...but that would be waisis."
Next Joke
"""It was M. Day Shyamalan all along!"" - The ultimate twist"
"Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What"
"WIFE: I want u to be more spontaneous ME: ok [later] ME: *hides in closet with goalie mask on waiting for her to walk by*"
"Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere."
"I am not well... ... neither am I a river!"
"What do you call a singing laptop? Adele"
"My wife went to the West Indies for her holidays. Jamaica? No, she wanted to go."
"A deer walks out of a gay bar... ""Wow. I can't believe I just blew sixty bucks!"""
"How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."