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Joke of the Day

"Lazy is a strong word. I prefer to say that the stars are reaching for me"

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"What is better to be taken, than to be given? A shit"
"What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea? A start."
"Fishermen hate himyou'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait"
"I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her."
"Will I become attractive if I swallow magnets?"
"If homosexuals come out of the closet, do necrophiliacs come out of the casket?"
"DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be"
"Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They're always taking things...literally."
"The loop of Internet sites we repetitively check up on while procrastinating is worse than crack."