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Joke of the Day

"At the mortuary.. -How do you want to handle your mother in law? Do you want her incinerated, embalmed or buried? -All of them, lets not take any chances"

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"Why might Saturn's rings come loose? They're too close to Titan."
"What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles."
"Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."
"I nicknamed my urethra, Franklin."
"Just thinking up snappy comebacks to painful conversations I had 22 years ago. What are YOU doing?"
"There's a lot of nasty jobs out there Butt plumbers have seen some shit."
"Why do hitman always wear gloves? because theyre always wacking guys off...."
"Do you need an Ark? I Noah guy."