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Joke of the Day
"#wordsofwisdom If it says, 'Do not try this at home' - go and visit a friend."
Next Joke
"Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."
"This is the best day of my life! ""Why?"" I just got 1000 comment karma! ""I don't get it, what's the joke?"" My life, my life is the joke."
"A girl who bullied me in junior high just friended me on Facebook. Her three kids are named after trees. I win."
"When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb"
"Bread is just bread until you drop it on the floor. Then it's toast."
"You can't keep two ducks alone together It's a paradox."
"Guess What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves? Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now?"
"Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because Oct31 = Dec25"
"Want to buy a pocket computer? No thanks I already know how many pockets I've got."