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Joke of the Day

"DJ Khaled is at a bar... *He has already had 10 shots* The bartender asks him if he's done or not... DJ Khaled says,""Nope I'll have Another One."""

"[while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol"

"A coworker just asked me how I stay so thin so I responded ""I don't post pictures of my food online"" and I think she believed me."

"Roses are red, violets are blue Some poems rhyme this is not one of them"

"I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?"

"I told my girlfriend to apply for a job at the pet store 'cause she really knows how to handle a cock 'r two"

"Question for Waitresses who have served a Mohel... ...Did they leave a tip?"

"Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a few minutes Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Me: Mum was I adopted? Mum: Yes, but they gave you back"

"What do you call a corn cob on a track team? A maize runner. Credit goes to my girlfriend."