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Joke of the Day

"Question for Waitresses who have served a Mohel... ...Did they leave a tip?"

"For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!"

"I got sacked from the dodgems. I'm going to take them to court and win the case based on funfair dismissal."

"You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st It's the first date"

"I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one"

"I'm hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why's everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer"

"--Whenever I am down in the dumps, I buy a new hat. --So that's where you get them."

"Had this weird dream last night that I was Superman, but I was only able to fly really low to the ground because I'm chubby."

"Average Guy: [writes her a song] Girl: ""Yeah, whatever."" Hot Guy: ""Sup."" Girl: ""Oh my god, you're so creative!"""

"Was decorating the front yard last night and one of the neighborhood kids tried to deflate me."