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Joke of the Day

"I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?"

"Police: How did they break in? Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it? Me: They threw it through the window."

"So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer Killer: ""Turn down that dark road."" Rapist: ""I was planning on it..."" Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!"

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."

"A: ""What is the integral of 1/cabin?"" B: ""Log cabin!"" A: ""Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."""

"I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME."

"A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day... It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter."

"ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems."

"Chuck Norris once broke wind so hard... it couldn't be fixed."

"What's long and hard on a black man? The third grade."