173940

Joke of the Day

"Well tonight's date night for me and the wife I certainly hope we don't run into each other"

"What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup? ""I, 4-1, know we won't win."""

"What's Autocorrect's blood type? typo negative"

"I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking ""hey, can I see how you look?"" is frowned upon."

"Whats Brown and Sticky? Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke."

"How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar? Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds."

"I just dropped my iPhone in liquor, and now Siri is slurring her words, won't stop talking, stumbling and trying to have sex with me."

"A nerd found out about the iPhone 6S Plus. He then said, ""6s+ what? Finish the equation!"""

"Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth? He wanted to smoke a joint!"

"How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its USB cable."