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Joke of the Day
"What's Autocorrect's blood type? typo negative"
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"The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it when your kid stops taking care of it."
"At what age did the world's greatest sushi chef begin his training? Tuna half."
"Check-writing-grocery-line lady. No-turn-signal-SUV guy. Recline-seat-into-your-lap man. They're all voting tomorrow. Let's cancel them out."
"My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport."
"What will you find in the toilet of a ship? The captains log."
"My wife ran off with my next door neighbour.. I sure do miss him."
"I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder. Now I feel like a distribution."
"Why did the chicken... ...cross the Mobius strip?"
"After a failed college project to fight hunger, Clark decided to focus on fighting crime and thereby dropping a p from Supperman."