69553

Joke of the Day

"What's Autocorrect's blood type? typo negative"

"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."

"Bought the 'Sounds of the Rainforest' cd, not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers"

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"My wife has the body of a 16 year old She keeps it in the fridge."

"My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"I wonder what Kirstie Alley is putting frosting on right now."

"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."

"How many lead trumpets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, he just holds the light bulb up, and the world revolves around him."