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Joke of the Day

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

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"""Where does it hurt?"" the doctor asked. ""Right Ear"" replied the Englishman, pointing to his broken ankle."
"I did my foreign country report on Ethiopia. It was really easy, I didn't even have to bring the class food."
"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."
"What sea creature is regularly featured in The Walking Dead? CORAL"
"If I ever go missing, please put my photo on a Tequila bottle because nobody I know drinks milk."
"The sentence ""I'm aware"" isn't very scary Unless you put Wolf on the end."
"""Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?"" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms"
"Sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat ...and ignore my wife until it is dinner time"
"*purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*"