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Joke of the Day

"The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about."

"Bartender: A shot of whiskey can cleanse the soul Me: *thinks back to the time I ""experimented"" in college* I'll take 27 bottles please"

"There are 2 types of people in this world Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data"

"What do cops and sports photographers have in common? They get paid to shoot black men."

"Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend? Because they're too young for him"

"My wife wanted to get a cat. I really didn't want one, so after a lot of discussions, we reached a compromise: we're getting a cat."

"Parallel lines have so much in common It's a shame they'll never meet"

"....Hey...uh...hey. Reddit. Yeah, you Reddit.....what do ducks eat? **QUACKERS** **LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL--STARTS CHOKING ON OWN HUMOR--**"

"What do you call a German guy that measure horses Hands"

"Why are mexicans so predictable in Uno? Because they always wish for the green card"