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Joke of the Day

"Bartender: A shot of whiskey can cleanse the soul Me: *thinks back to the time I ""experimented"" in college* I'll take 27 bottles please"

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is..."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"When did the Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he ate his first Brownie!"

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research."

"Oh Jesus another fuckin day, they just keep comin."

"Oh your baby's name is Walter? Is he close to retirement?"

"My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's What has two knees and swims in the ocean? A Two-knee fish!....."

"What's black and white and has a dirty name? Sister Mary Fuckface"

"A positive parent.. A positive parent said to their negative child... Your grounded."