191941

Joke of the Day

"My wife wanted to get a cat. I really didn't want one, so after a lot of discussions, we reached a compromise: we're getting a cat."

"What do you call someone who has sex for spaghetti? A pastatute."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"

"When my Grandad fell ill the doctor told us to rub olive oil into his back. He went downhill very fast after that."

"Did you know that if you put your ear on Beethoven's tombstone you can hear his music in reverse? He's de-composing! Heard that one on the radio this morning."

"I've realized that women don't necessarily care what I have to say, they just want to hear what they have to say repeated in a deeper voice."

"A nun goes to the greengrocer, asking for a cucumber. ""Get 2"" he says. ""So you have one to eat"""

"A blonde walks into a bar yelling, ""65 days!"" A guy asks her, ""What's in 65 days?"" The blonde replies, ""I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"""

"Depresso; the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee."

"When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said ""I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these"" So now I poop into socks"