173552

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run."

"For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest."

"Overheard at a gay bar ""Let me push that stool in for you"""

"Say what you will about pedophiles..... at least they drive slow in school zones."

"Hey, did you hear about that top secret explosion? Me neither. No one did. It's top secret. We're probably on a list already for talking about it."

"I don't understand how Authorities can tell us that we ""Can't Negotiate with terrorists..."" I just got a free can of Coke with my kebab..."

"Fun game: Select all of your Snapchat contacts and send them a text that says... ""Wow...Are you sure that was for me?"" And wait."

"I'm agnostic. What happens to me when I die? Idk. (I decay)"

"A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine ...with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"I brought a dyslexic girl home last night. She cooked my sock."