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Joke of the Day
"Say what you will about pedophiles..... at least they drive slow in school zones."
Next Joke
"My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out."
"Who is dear & near friend... Who's hot... Its U, Who's Charming... Its U, Who's Sweetest.. Its U, Who's Intelligent... Its U, Who's dear & near friend... Its U, Who's a liar.. Its me"
"Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"
"I'll need a weekend to recover from this weekend."
"What do you call a vampire that drinks period blood? Cunt Dracula."
"""Yo dad, did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"" *dad checks & realises his mistake* ""you know what else isn't in here son? Adopted"""
"My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday. So we sat outside McDonald's."
"- We buried my mother-in-law yesterday. - Sorry to hear that. When did she die? - My guess would be sometime this morning."
"""There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU."" And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public."