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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Trump getting Pink Floyd back together? Only problem is, he's gonna make them pay for every brick in the wall."

Next Joke
 
"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"
"My wife is so skilful... My wife is so skilful she can say ""No"" in thousand different ways. Without even speaking."
"What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex? Umami."
"If the dove is the bird of peace what is the bird of true love? The swallow."
"At what age did Hitler's uncle try to molest him at? When he was nein."
"What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys? Niggaless Cage (My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.)"
"What do you call a mountain of kittens. 3000 karma and a gold."
"As soon as you take a single slice of pizza... ...there's no longer enough to go around."
"Her: Stop stalling and sign the divorce papers. Me: *does ""the divorce papers"" in sign language* THERE I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY"