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Joke of the Day

"Her: Stop stalling and sign the divorce papers. Me: *does ""the divorce papers"" in sign language* THERE I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY"

"On dates, if a man says the past tense of ""see"" as ""I seen"" instead of ""I saw,"" I go to the bathroom and climb out the window."

"I'm an expert at dating After all, I work in the calendar factory 12 hours a day"

"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A hobby horse."

"What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party? No brains"

"A hillbilly walks up to his sister and says ""have sex with me."" She replies ""if you incest."""

"A Test WC in college. Three cubicles. Voice from the left: *Peter, professor passed you in philosophy?* Voice from the right: *No, he did not...* Voice from the middle: **And I won't!**"

"What are the three most important things to an orthopedic surgeon's business? Dislocation, dislocation, dislocation"

"I stepped on a rusty Lego the other day... I'm worried I might have contracted Tetris."

"Everyone on reddit seems to want a secular Turkey... My fat ass just wants a succulent one."