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Joke of the Day

"Earrings Why do chicks wear those big, jangly earrings? ... ... Stirrups"

"Book, you look so much thinner! I know! I had my appendix removed!"

"There aren't enough hours in the day to put off the things I don't want to do"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"3-year-old: What's a swear word?Me: A bad word moms and dads only say when they're mad.3:Me:3: Is my middle name a swear word?"

"What is Jesus' favourite dessert? Propheteroles"

"Optometrist dilated my eyes today; everything blurry Shortest time I have ever spent on the pot, says the wife..."

"Why was the paleontologist angry? Because he had a bone to pick."

"""You are what you eat"" [Eats a confident person] Now we wait..."

"A: What are you doing? B: Nothing A: Didn't you do that yesterday? B: I havent finished..."