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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says, ""do you know how to drive this thing?"

"I Hate everyone! Angry guy: I HATE EVERYONE Random guy: Sir, how can you hate me? You dont even know me.. Angry guy: Hello my name is George.. Random Guy: Im Max.. George: OK, now fuck you Max"

"You can't break an electric toothbrush If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush."

"Why is the Dead Sea a mod on /r/leagueoflegends? Because it's so salty."

"Using a phone case is like buying a Ferrari and gluing Corolla body panels to it."

"My boss keeps asking me to cut my hair. I keep telling him it is part of my religion I worship the Metal Gods. Edit: TL;DR 666"

"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"

"What do you call a plant that doesn't move? A tree."

"""Dave just showed up"" Dave the fireman or Dave who always uses inappropriate abbreviations? *Dave barges in* HEY GUYS I'M DTF ""Yeah I dunno"""

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench... A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them. Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach."