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Joke of the Day

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench... A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them. Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach."

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"""If you know about us Canadians, we like to say sorry..."" ""And if you knew that already... I'm sorry"""
"wife: ""what on earth are you doing?"" me: ""making a penguin"" wife: ""that's a pigeon"" me: [opening freezer door] ""not for long"""
"A man walks into a gay bar and says... ""Whose dick do I gotta suck to suck a dick around here?"""
"Why was Jokeexplainbot angry? Because someone was pushing his buttons!"
"Having sex with your clone... Is it incest or masturbation?"
"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."
"SpaceX to begin development on their new pocket rocket. For when you want an *explosive* orgasm."
"Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox."
"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine? A: Nobody knows, but whatever it is, it knits its own sweaters."