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Joke of the Day

"The difference between my dick and Stuart Little ? Stuart."

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Tequila gives you a 1 in 3 chance."

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a Six offender."

"Why did Hitler fail math in high school? Because he could never get to the Final Solution."

"Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? BECAUSE There was no chemistry. LOL"

"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""

"What did the Mexican fireman name his children? Jose and Hose B"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black."

"Keep dimming automatically, laptop screen. We love that."

"The worst thing about turning up at the ER drunk at 4am is explaining to the nurse that my 9 year old drove here."