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Joke of the Day

"We all have that one friend who returns our yacht a little too clean."

"I tend to drop a lot of glassware but that means I'd be pretty fucking handy in one of those ""In case of emergency break glass."" situations."

"A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable."

"What's the most electronegative state? Fluorida!"

"Joe, why haven't you tossed your hat in the ring for the presidential election? I'm Biden my time."

"Three guys walk into a bar. They pretend to hear each other for two hours and then go home"

"What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? I can't believe someone would stoop so low."

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"My mom once told me.... ....the only way I'll ever get laid is if I crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles."