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Joke of the Day

"""the pizza boy is here"" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell"

"What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party? I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor."

"How many porn stars does it take to turn change a fuse? It's too hard to tell. They keep blowing it."

"When do you care for a man's company? ""When he owns it."""

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team? She kept running from the ball."

"what did the emo say to the dull razor? Sorry old friend... You just won't cut it"

"I argued constantly with my boss, so in the end I got the sack And buried him in it."

"I disagree with the comments around here about feminists being fat, ugly, disgusting, whiny bitches... Some of them are just ugly."

"""An apple a day takes Billion Dollars away"" ~ Samsung"

"What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla? A retarded gorilla."