172850

Joke of the Day

"Hats were invented in 1784 when a Canadian was too polite to ask a raccoon to get off his head."

"What's the shortest joke you know/can come up with? Here's mine: Women are more holy than men."

"What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships."

"Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon."

"TIFU by using disinfectant wipes on my ass. Just joking!"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture."

"I got fired from my job doing porn... I had all the dedication in the world but too many times i came in too early."

"If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun."

"What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl? Her resume."

"Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there"