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Joke of the Day

"My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend."

"What are the 3 rings involved in marriage? 1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering"

"I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award."

"What do you call a classical composer's butthole after a night of bad Mexican food? Taco Bell's Cannon"

"Why can't you make something that's sort of like a macaron but not really? Because then it'd just be macaroni"

"Woman across from me will NOT shut up about her where she works. Ugh, I hate job interviews."

"Why are calculators grey and boring? Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:("

"Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby."

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."

"It Only Gets Worse As An Adult, Charlie Brown"