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Joke of the Day

"Between the Boko Haram schoolgirl abductions and the recent Malaysia Airlines incidents... I'm starting to doubt if we'll ever see an intact black box ever again."

"If you don't eat your candy corn in three separate bites starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, you're a communist."

"Shut up, will you?"" ""Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?"

"what did the drummer say to the Chinese man that called him gay? first i bang the drums then i bang ur mom"

"Where did the Indian buy his sandwiches? The New Dehli"

"HUNG LESBIAN how can you tell a lesbian is hung? she has really long fingers"

"I almost got caught stealing a board game today... but it was a Risk I was willing to take."

"What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?"

"What looks ridiculous and is often spotted on top of an asshole? Donald Trump's Hair."

"Uma Thurman's eyes are so wide apart...... she can accurately measure the distance to the moon using parallax."