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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and a dead baby? One makes you feel sick and the other one is free!"

"THIS IS THE POLICE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. ""Wrong house guys."" ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? ""Yup, happens a lot."" OKAY COOL, SORRY."

"I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer."

"Lots of nouns have particular GROUP names. A MOB of kangaroos, a HERD of cattle, a TEAM of footballers. What is the name for a group of Bankers? A WUNCH."

"Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out."

"What internet provider does Satan use in hell? Comcast"

"I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model."

"Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson ""I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"" Hodgson responded ""Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"""

"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"

"Deep Thoughts Do you think that, when two police officers are having sex, they appreciate the fact that they are copulating?"