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Joke of the Day

"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"

"Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out."

"I'm not saying you're an idiot, I'm typing it."

"Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor? Because he had no arms or legs. Why? Because he is a potato."

"Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out? Malteasers"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a the letter K? A: A book."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? (Gagging noise) My all time favorite joke."

"What do you call having sex in a canoe? Bud Light, because it's fucking close to water."

"Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity? They're ape purists"

"What's it called when you remember a good meme? A Memento"