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Joke of the Day
"I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer."
Next Joke
"Air bags: my car's attempt of cheering me up after accidents by giving me surprise balloons."
"How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle? By tying a knot on its tail."
"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."
"What do you call... a dog with no back legs and steel testicles....... Sparky."
"So Paul Walker has died.... Bringing to an end the Fast and Furious Saga - they have however, introduced a new series - The Slow and Decomposing too soon?"
"I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need."
"BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you."
"So a pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks him why he has the wheel on him, and the pirate replies ""YARR! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"""
"[cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]"