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Joke of the Day
"How do you call mosquitoes where you live? We don't. They just come unwanted"
Next Joke
"boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!"
"This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made"
"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."
"What's the difference between Pastor Maldonado and a bus driver? One is a highly skilled professional driver, and the other is in Formula 1."
"People who matter don't judge, & people who judge, don't matter."
"""Life's too short to remove USB safely"""
"after every snowstorm, animals must spend a few brief moments wonderimg if nature has claimed back the world and the humans have finaly gone"
"A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, ""Your technique is flawless."""
"Dear Dreamworks, How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon"