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Joke of the Day

"Gonna trade in my wife's menstrual cycle for a really cool mountain bike."

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes him cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"John, you should stay away from drugs - Why Mark? I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!"

"I guess that is what a Brazilian wax feels like."

"What's today's date? 10-4 Good Buddy!"

"I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing."

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer One sells watches, and the other watches cells."

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor."

"What's a terrorist's favourite car? A Ford Exploder."

"Did you hear about the new group my mom's in? D.A.M. (Moms against dyslexia)"