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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see someone with a non-reusable water bottle I get a gun and shoot a nearby animal and say ""you did that"""

"In the future everyone will be older."

"Wife: Did you eat an ENTIRE half-gallon of ice cream?!?! Me: It was getting freezer-burned. W: I just bought it today! Me: Crazy freezer."

"I like my jokes they way I like my robots. Killer."

"A hippie goes to the abortion clinic. The doctor says: ""If you want it organic, just go sit on a cactus."""

"Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh."

"Bill Cosby likes his women like he doesn't like his computer Not responding."

"I got robbed last night The burglar replaced everything with an exact replica"

"This person told me ""When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!"" Alas, swine flu."

"Did you hear about the sequel to ""The Thing""? Turns out one of Jackie Chan's Relatives is directing it. His Uncle, I believe. &nbsp; He's calling it ""ONE *MORE* THING!"""