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Joke of the Day

"This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas"

"Honest ads - 'Hot singles in your area want to be just friends'. 'Hot singles in your area think of you more like a brother'."

"My dad asked what I want for my birthday, I said 'I wanna watch'... so he let me! Let's hear YOUR favorite one liners! Cred to Rodney Dangerfield for that one."

"Q: Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? A: He found a leek there."

"How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus."

"How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was."

"oh these 2 bleeding dots on my neck? uhhh no i'm not a vampire, some crazy dude stabbed me with 2 pens. hey can you toss me a bloodweiser ;)"

"""I'm turning over a new leaf"" -Adam telling Eve that he's seeing another woman"

"What is a feminist's feeling when she gets ""threatened?"" Womenaced"

"Thor. He follows the same naming conventions as macho men with their dogs. Thor means thunder. But also the literal translation of Mjolnir is ""crusher""."