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Joke of the Day

"My dad asked what I want for my birthday, I said 'I wanna watch'... so he let me! Let's hear YOUR favorite one liners! Cred to Rodney Dangerfield for that one."

"12,000 BCE: Humans hunt woolly mammoths with stone-tipped spears. 2012 AD: I apply acne medication to my cat's chin."

"what does a man with a 9"" cock eat for breakfast? this morning, I ate some toast, cereal, coffee, bacon & eggs, hash browns..."

"What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza? You can't figure it out? I mean, it's a pizz'a cake."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9-11 victims, they went through 104 stories in 7 seconds i hope this isn't a repost"

"I just licked a knife.. It tasted like blood."

"One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said ""friggity diggity"" please do not rt"

"If 4 people have sex is called a four-some 3 people have sex is a three-some and 2 people have sex is a two-some Now you know why they call me handsome"

"Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts."

"I've got reverse Benjamin Button disease."