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Joke of the Day
"""I'm turning over a new leaf"" -Adam telling Eve that he's seeing another woman"
Next Joke
"Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on."
"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"
"I just got a great deal on lots of digging equipment... It was hole-sale."
"Little Girl: ""Mom I want to be a Redditor when i grow up"" Mom: ""Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both"""
"Adults never get excited anymore about how big I got since they last saw me :("
"Remember that scene in Die Hard qhen the hero squeezes the magazine's boobs? Now he can really die hard."
"A man takes his dog to the vet... The veterinarian asks what the dogs name is. The man replies ""This is my boy, Rodger."" The veterinarian then replies ""Oh, so the mothers a bitch?"""
"I walked into the Reddit restaurant. All the servers were busy."
"Therapist: Alright, let's start at the beginning Me: *Sighs* I guess it all really started when I wasn't born a centaur"