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Joke of the Day

"volcano (n.) [vol-key-noh] A mountain getting its rocks off."

"Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today."

"Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?"

"Why is camping so exciting? Because it's in tents."

"My ""snooze"" button should just be called the ""nope, no yoga today"" button."

"A man walked into an appliance store and asked the clerk, ""Do you sell color televisions?"" ""Yes,"" said the clerk. The man replied, ""Then give me a green one."""

"I thought I had a fantastic cheese joke... But it wasn't very Gouda."

"Happy birthday George Lucas. To celebrate we'll be removing the iconic happy birthday song from your party & replacing it with a worse song."

"Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side."

"WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram."