98035

Joke of the Day

"Happy birthday George Lucas. To celebrate we'll be removing the iconic happy birthday song from your party & replacing it with a worse song."

"Finn is not your average stormtrooper... ...because he doesn't know about either killing or white suits. But he does know how to install a toilet main."

"Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They will clearly see your nuts."

"Why are the Jews angry about the new $20 bill? Because it's only worth $12 now"

"How does one respond to a black guy sending you a dick pic? TL;DR"

"How did the Greek army separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar"

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill two and a half men."

"Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet."

"What is a sure way to pleasure 9 out of 10 people? Gang rape."