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Joke of the Day
"I like to spend my Sunday night wishing it wasn't Sunday night."
Next Joke
"I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work."
"How do you hit 20 flies in one shot? Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan."
"A man walks into a bar With a piece of asfalt in his hand, goes to the bartender and says ""Ill take 2 beers, one for me and one for the road"""
"A Jewish kid walks up to his grandfather.... A jewish kid walks up to his grandfather and says ""Hey poppa, can I have 50 dollars?"" And the grandfather responds ""40 dollars? I don't have 30 dollars."""
"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10 but it sucks because she's imaginary."
"I've learned so much from my mistakes.. I'm thinking of making some more"
"Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december? The specific ocean."
"How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, and a really big lightbulb."
"lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?"